Movember Thirty-Third

And the perfect conclusion to this blog:  I've received the cartoon of the office dog.

Addendum4/12/13:  I took a printed copy of this cartoon into work to give to Lofty's owner and was told that she'd won Jewish Dog of the Year.  And I've been giving her pork sausage rolls...

Movember Thirty-Second

I've found myself stroking the moustache I no longer have.  Like amputees sometimes get feelings in their absent limbs, it still feels as if my facial fuzz is still there. I'm told I look younger, I think I look fatter, and, weirdly, I now think I need a haircut, as if the hair on my face distracted from that on my head. Despite having a moustache for less than a month it looked really strange after I shaved it off.
Doubtless I will grow accustomed to being clean shaven once again. 
I've also contacted the Gallery of Mo to enquire about the non-receipt of a cartoon of a cocker spaniel who looks like she already has a moustache and was today trying to lick the dried glue that formerly stuck the carpet to the office floor.

Movember Thirty-First

This may or may not be the last post for this blog; I'm still waiting for Gallery of Mo to provide me with a picture of the office dog, but it's possible there was a disconnect between the  request and the donation.
I did think of going to a Turkish barbers to get it shaved off, but would probably end up scared stiff by a cut-throat razor. And they are shut on Sundays.  So at half ten this morning I set off to the bathroom to do it myself.  I tried trimming it with some scissors that were part of a special beard trimming set, but they were bloody useless. Like trying to trim a lawn with a pair of scissors.

The starting/ finishing point

 

It was more scraping than shaving at first and I thought I'd take it through a few stages to see how they would have looked.

The 'proper' Mexican, with sides that go straight down rather than flaring

 



Mr Pastry

 

Clean shaven, despite the shadows

Attempt to take a picture in the bathroom mirror with no flash

 

It took roughly a minute less to shave with the moustache, but it took 30 minutes to shave off hence resulting in the sane overall shaving time during the month.  Don't know whether it's raised awareness of male cancers. Did get a very broad smile from a woman in her twenties yesterday, and I think this is usually done by younger men.

Movember Thirtieth

 

And the latest album cover tribute is to The Cure's Pornography.

 

 

I thought that taking pictures under natural light without a flash would change things. It didn't.  Still overexposed with a psychedelic background.



 

Sadly, with other things to do I don't have the time to get things as I would want them.  All close ups come out bright pink, so I can't show the combed version.

 

I think I look like a character actor in a Victorian/ Edwardian costume drama and perhaps would look best in  a frock coat.  If I were to do Movember again I'd go for the Seth Armstrong.   Pleasantly surprised at how grey it is, which has meant it was difficult to see at first. I have been criticized for not going for a pure Mexican, ie moustache comes straight down, but going for a flared effect.  Overall, not something I'd like to stick with permanently and I don't think I'll be trying any other experiments with facial hair, unless it's for 'chariddy'.   I hope that it's brought amusement/ pleasure to some, although after the initial stages  I hope it's not been too amusing.

Movember Twenty-Ninth

Almost there.  There are articles about actually keeping the moustache for longer. I have no intention of doing that, partly because I think I have cold sores in the corner of my mouth.

Xander Armstrong has just said something vaguely amusing on Pointless

 

  

Movember Twenty-Eighth

Another hit and run post.  The spirit of Seth Armstrong lives !

 

And I've found that the orange jumper doesn't go with anything.  It was cheap when Pinder & Tuckwell closed down.

Movember Twenty-Seventh

The last night of the month that I'm not going out.

 

The moustache has reached a steady state and these photos are getting very similar. However, this does bring me back to 1970s Emmerdale.  I think this perhaps, if I'd known how grey it was going to be, is what I should have aspired to.

 

 

Stan Richards as Seth Armstrong from the aforementioned soap.  



Movember Twenty-Sixth (Delayed)

Well, it looks like it's all going to end erratically.  I was out on the 26th, watching Torquay United v Plymouth Argyle, but did take a photo before I left.

The idea was that, because it had been below freezing when I went to work, I'd seen people wearing fur hats and thought my mo would suit the fur hat. Or vice versa.  Having not really planned it out, I have a dark hat against a dark background, so I look as if someone has sliced off the top of my head like a boiled egg, and that thing behind me is not a flying jellyfish or one of Pacman's ghosts escaped but the reflection of the light.
Torquay v Plymouth was 1-1 and a surprisingly entertaining game.

Movember Twenty-Fifth

 

That hasn't come out too badly considering it's rather dark in this room and was taken with the curtains closed after dark. I tried to use the 'red eye' edit facility but it didn't work.  I've been trying to trim the moustache and comb it but any close up photo I try to take comes out pink like those the other day. 
I have been asked whether I'm going to keep the 'mo' after next Saturday (the 30th). The answer is no, partly because it's beginning to irritate and partly because I can't leave it alone and am constantly preening it unless I have something better to occupy my mind.

Movember Twenty-Fourth

For the works Christmas meal one of my colleagues has called 'Christmas jumpers' as the theme. I can't say what we've called him.

 

Might stick with this angle, although the rest of the photos might be taken at night, but the back light gives a really psychedelic effect.

 

And that's on a grey, sunless day. Oh, and the reason for the face is that I set the camera with a 9 second delay and only just made it across the room.

Movember Twenty-Third

Well, I'm looking like a character from Emmerdale Farm in the 1970s.   I also look like I have mumps.

Movember Twenty-Second (Delayed)

 

As you can see I've managed to comb my moustache into a handy scarf.   And painted a little red wyvern on it.Went out to see Adrian Edmonson's  Bad Shepherds and over a meal discussed the possibility of people thinking"Bloody hell, Hulk Hogan's really let himself go."

Movember Twenty-First

Today's complicating factor is that I have a dose of the snots. No other symptoms of a cold just a sniffly nose and the need to blow it occasionally if I wish to continue breathing. I think it shows in the photo.

 

I was also told today that it needs trimming as it shouldn't go out but straight down, threatening to draw the correct beard line with a felt tip pen. And the fact that it's grey. I like the grey. I also like the fact that the side bits - the 'Mexican' bits - look like flared trousers.

Movember Twentieth

Well, apart from the fact that this blog is falling apart because I haven't been about much to update it, everything's going swimmingly.

Tried to do an extreme close up 'selfie' (most widely used neologism of 2013, apparently) and ended up with my tribute to Half Man Half Biscuit's Back In The DHSS.

 

So I took another photo and have a ventriloquist dummy grin.

 

And I've now been compared to Lee Van Cleef, The Bad in The Good, The Bad and The Ugly.  Although I think he was more moustache and stubble.

Movember Nineteenth

Today and tomorrow's posts will be a bit hit and run.

Thought it might make a difference if I gurned...

But it doesn't really.

 



Saw comedian Adam Hills tonight and he's doing Movember and asked a guy whether he was raising money for charity. Thank heavens he didn't ask me that question.

Movember Eighteenth

Another trick to not look like you have a double chin, or to avoid shadow under your chin that looks like part of a goatee beard is to look up.

Which just makes it look as if the side bits don't join with the upper lip.



 

 

And today's unlikely comparison, from someone who entered my office, is...Hulk Hogan.

Movember Seventeenth

I'm doing this relatively early in the day because I've got a slight cold and all I really want to do is go to sleep. So if it seems poorly typed or simply makes no sense, that's why.

 

 

Anyhow, the mid-term summary is that it's not as hirsute as I thought it would be - I don't need to trim it and in places it is still thin and wispy - and it's beginning to itch terribly. I also have a terrible habit of preening it when I'm bored, almost as if that is my mind's default setting.

Movember Sixteenth

Another technique for lessening the chins/ lightening the chin area is to actually shine a light under the chin, a bit like the 'buttercup test'.

Looks even worse as it makes it look as if the upper lip is not connected to the rest of the facial hair. Also makes my face look sallow around the eyes.

Movember Fifteenth: Mid Point

Yes, it's the middle of the month. This probably should be the time for reflection on how things are going.  Unfortunately I haven't got time to post tonight.  Here's today's photo with another hugely subtle way of making it not look like a goatee with the 'five o'clock shadow' under my chin.

Movember Fourteenth

I'm trying to solve the 'looking like a goatee' problem.  I remember a columnist for the shortlived Sunday Correspondent who rested his chin on his hands to cover up the fact that he had multiple chins.

 

 

Actually just looks like I'm trying to cover up a line of hair.

 

Today a colleague told me he'd had a nightmare about my moustache.  I had previously told him I was trying to match the facial hair of some of Nick Cave's backing band, The Bad Seeds.  Coincidentally and unbeknown to me, they are his girlfriend's favourite band.  So maybe in his dream he could hear this, although it's a Nick Cave side project, Grinderman.



Movember Thirteenth

Noticed this morning that mo is shaved closer on right than left (left eyebrow is raised).  My line manager only noticed today that I was growing a moustache.  Have not, as yet, been mistaken for Rufus Hound.
Tomorrow I may take the photo from a different angle so that a different face is looking over my shoulder.

Mlovember Twelfth

 

Picture from a slightly different angle, so I've got a different face from the painting looking over my shoulder. Facial fuzz is now visible from a distance.

 

 

I have now submitted the picture below of Lofty, the cocker spaniel who comes into the office most days and causes havoc, to the Gallery of Mo for them to create a MoTrait, although from the picture you may think she already has a tache.

 



 

 

Movember Eleventh

Learning the words to this.

 

Trying to take my photo in the bathroom mirror didn't really work.

Still looks like a goatee

Movember Tenth

At last a chance to take a photo in natural light.

This is odd. This was taken not long after I'd shaved and my chin, I swear, is bald, but it looks like I've got a goatee. 

I've received the Motrait and here it is:

 

It's by Jo Whitby in a cartoon-stylee.  Possibly the quality of the photo sent wasn't too good.  The shirt and jumper combo is good, as is the greying hair on the sides.  The background makes it look all a bit Uncle Joe Stalin or some other dictator. Or if there's anyone doing a stage or film production of 1984, it would make the ideal 'Big Brother is watching you' poster.

Movember Ninth: Mo on Tour Peterborough

 Extreme close up

 

 

Slightly longer shot

 

 

Still not really filling out.  One of the other away fans - a woman in her 70s - reckoned she had more hair on her top lip than I had.  And I had a  comparison with John Bishop, who's got a full goatee but will be cutting the 'chin bit' out to create a moustache, and his beard is much more luxuriant than mine.

Movember Eighth

Well, I went for the early morning photo...

Didn't realise I looked quite so dishevelled. 

It's still horribly wispy and not really beefing up; I was hoping for a proper lip-weasel like Butcher Bill in Gangs of New York.  Perhaps I should try Regaine, hair extensions, hair transplant - or anything else promoted by ex-international cricketers - or just shaving some hair off my legs and Pritt sticking it on. Or possibly getting stick on sideburns and using them as a faux moustache.

I've also applied to the Gallery of Mo for a 'motrait', so I can see what I'd look like with a proper moustache.  More news when it arrives.

Movember Seventh

Not a lot to say except perhaps I should stop doing both the photos and text last thing at night. I'm knackered and the stubble that's grown during the day may be foxing things slightly.  Oh and taking the photos under artificial light could also be a problem.

 

Bespectacled Mo

 



Unspectacular



Movember Sixth

Well, the photo is a spot the difference from yesterday.

 

A little darker round the edges but nothing particularly significant.

This morning as I got off the train someone I know was also getting off and said "morning, mate". I replied with the same and one of two young women sat opposite each other looked up and then looked away.  Then I heard her friend behind me say "why are you laughing ?"  I wish I'd turned round, stroked the mo/beard and said "I have no idea".

Movember Fifth (Delayed)

My router died last night and I had to get an engineer out to replace it.  Anyhow, this is yesterday's post as it should've been.

Still not overly hirsute and it's not a goatee even though it looks like it.  Found out that there are a few blokes at work who are doing Movember but nothing overly adventurous.

Movember Fourth

This morning on the first day at work with a visible growth - despite the pictorial evidence below - I found that some colleagues had chickened out because they didn't want to look out of place at Remembrance services.

Also whilst walking to work I passed a woman who I pass most mornings and she had to bite her tongue to avoid laughing (I think).  So not a particularly great day for the mo.

It would thus appear I am very much going solo. However, if you wish to donate to Movember you can do it here:

http://uk.movember.com/

I haven't registered, so don't bother trying to find my name.

Movember Third

Not great progress. The blond/ grey/ white hairs are beginning to show through.  However it is still virtually invisible to the naked eye.

Ventriloquist's dummy

 

So there's still the need to show extreme close ups to get some idea that things are progressing.